wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
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