If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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