So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize