i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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