I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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