i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize