woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Boobs are out for the taking
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
