would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize