I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
