she was so not down for the gang bang
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
