I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
