She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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