im gay
i know
yea but for you.
the day after is always just damage control
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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