There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Oh god it's open bar.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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