I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
