Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(415): View more from California

I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny

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(808): View more from Hawaii

drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night

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(864): View more from South Carolina

Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...

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(409): View more from Texas

i wish i coudl send you meat via computure

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(573): View more from Missouri

You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.

(816): View more from Missouri

Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance

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(914): View more from New York

you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through

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(772): View more from Florida

Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?

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