Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
