with your own penis?
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
