So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
