He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
