I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I take back everything I said about communal showers
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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