I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
