so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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