It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
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