Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
