Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
