he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I am naked and annoyed.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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