Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Randomize
