It's like a parade of train wrecks.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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