Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
