We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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