I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Randomize
