I drank myself into bisexuality again.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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