I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Randomize
