I want to have your abortion
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
