He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
