So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
