The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
