you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Randomize
