I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
