I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
