you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
