Heybabeimwearingurpanties
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
two words...techno handjob
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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