where am i from again
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
