that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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