It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
