PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
