i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
