Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
