are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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