dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
