capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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