All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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