Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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