I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
