we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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