Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
