It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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