Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
