how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
