Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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