i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
